Life's Adventures

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What if marriage isn’t just about security and comfort—but about a wild, unpredictable, and deeply purposeful adventure? In this week’s Wedded Wednesday, Don and Lisa trade the counseling couch for a coffee date, exploring what it really means to say "I do" to the unknown.

Drawing from Psalm 84:5 ("Blessed are those whose strength is in you, whose hearts are set on pilgrimage"), Don compares marriage to epic journeys like The Lord of the Rings—complete with unexpected hazards, missed connections, and moments where you just can’t see the path ahead. Whether you’re an adventurer married to a homebody, an extrovert wed to an introvert, or just two people wondering how you got here, this episode will help you remember why you started the trip in the first place.

Key takeaways:

• Marriage reveals our immaturity and selfishness—but that’s part of the growth, not a sign of failure.
• Opposites attract… and then they clash. The trick is learning to navigate the tension instead of fighting it.
• Every adventure has hazards. The question isn’t if trouble will come, but where you’ll look for direction when it does.
• God’s Word is like a tour guide’s flag—visible above the chaos, showing you which way to go even when you can’t see the whole route.
• Don’t compare your journey to other couples. You have no idea what hazards they’re pushing through.

Your challenge this week:
Take time with your spouse to reminisce. Ask each other: When we first got married, what did we think this adventure would look like? Did we ever expect to be here? You might just rediscover a forgotten dream—or find a new one worth chasing together.

Quote of the episode:

“No adventure comes without hazards or unexpected moments. No marriage can happen without things that threaten its survival. The question is: will you let those things separate you—or draw you closer?”

Pull up a chair, grab your coffee, and let’s be intentional together. You’re on an adventure. You don’t have to navigate it alone.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:09

What if marriage advice didn't have to feel like a lecture or a counseling session? Well, welcome to a weekly coffee date for your marriage that we're calling Wedded Wednesday. I'm Pastor Don Smith along with my wife Lisa, and we are right there in the trenches with you. And this podcast takes the pressure off perfect and puts the focus on purposeful. Our desire is to give you Bible-based tools to work on your marriage, not just in it. Each week we get real, we keep it lighthearted because marriage is hard enough without being stuffy. We want to leave you with one practical challenge to actually use before the next podcast. Whether you're in a great season or barely holding on, I want you to pull up a chair, get a cup of coffee, and let's be intentional together. Action. Here we are. Here we are. We are live on Facebook on Wedded Wednesday. Wedded Wednesday. All right, happy to be here.

SPEAKER_01 1:11

Yeah. The weather's a little different than last week.

SPEAKER_02 1:17

Yeah, we are not in Mexico anymore. Right? Yeah. Do you miss it? Uh the sunshine. Yeah, the warmth. Yeah. It's been cool in Michigan.

SPEAKER_01 1:31

It's been a little cool, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:33

We had our first Church League softball game last night and drizzled a little bit on us and was a little cool, but not too bad.

SPEAKER_01 1:40

Yeah. I stayed home. Sorry.

SPEAKER_02 1:42

It wasn't too bad.

SPEAKER_01 1:43

I wasn't ready for that yet. To be wet and cold. It wasn't terrible. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:51

Yeah. No, I was actually sweating on the field. But anyway, they're good.

SPEAKER_01 1:55

Look at that. Maybe I should give the thumbnail.

SPEAKER_02 1:57

We look happy, don't we? We try to get wait a minute here to let a few people uh log on for a wedded Wednesday. And uh make sure we got all of our microphones working.

SPEAKER_01 2:12

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 2:13

I think everything looks good. You with your pink microphone there.

SPEAKER_01 2:17

You with your blue microphone.

SPEAKER_02 2:19

Because men speak with blue microphones, women speak with pink microphones. And uh, you know, there's sometimes there's a translation issue, isn't there? Right? I guess so. I guess so. Hey, if you're out there in uh Wedded Wednesday world on this Wednesday morning, we're excited that you're here today. If you're listening on the podcast, we're excited that you are here as well. We've been talking to you for a little while about making this a podcast. We've still got a little bit of work to do, but we are recording these. So if you're listening at a later time, see you're on on the ground floor. And uh that's a good thing, right? Right being in on the ground level, uh turning these into uh something that people can go back to over and over and over again with Facebook Live. Um, what we've learned is that after 30 days, I think it's 30. 30 days, uh the Facebook deletes the lives now, and a lot of people have been saying, hey, uh Pastor Don and Sister Lisa, we we really would like to hear that again. We were like, ah, it's gone. You know, it was what it was.

SPEAKER_01 3:26

Or they wanted to share it with someone and then they couldn't find it.

SPEAKER_02 3:30

Yep. So here we are on Wedded Wednesday, uh, trying to do all the things we can uh to make this happen so that everybody can uh participate and have these for how you say it, posterity's sake. Is that a good word? I I have early on a Wednesday morning.

SPEAKER_01 3:48

I don't even know what that means, to be honest.

SPEAKER_02 3:51

Uh long uh for you know the long the long haul, I guess. I don't know for the future. I I have no clue. All right, I got a scripture for us this morning. You ready? All right, I'm gonna wedded Wednesday. Uh you guys know how we do. If you are a long time listener, thanks for being back uh this week. If you this is your first time listening to Wedded Wednesday, where you been? We've been waiting on you. Same thing we talk about, it right? We've been waiting, but we're glad you're here. And uh, I've got a scripture today. So, what we'd like to do is just you know take a few minutes to encourage uh you in your marriage and uh just be advocates for marriage. Now, I I I'm kind of an adventure guy. No, I get a little bored sometimes.

SPEAKER_01 4:34

Sometimes. I don't think you got bored in Mexico.

SPEAKER_02 4:37

When I get stressed, I need to I need to have an adventure, right? Uh so uh Psalms 84, verse 5. Um, it says, How blessed is a man whose strength is in you, speaking of the Lord, and whose heart are the highways of Zion. So the highways to me speak of like a trip, an adventure, right? Like uh does that make sense?

SPEAKER_01 5:02

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_02 5:09

Oh yes.

SPEAKER_01 5:10

It is an adventure.

SPEAKER_02 5:11

Now, is that good or bad?

SPEAKER_01 5:14

I think adventures are supposed to be good, but some people don't enjoy some adventures.

SPEAKER_02 5:21

You know, one of my favorite, Lisa knows my one of the favorite kind of like um uh series movies that was ever put out was the movies that was made uh over the Lord of the Rings books, right? And um now Tolkien, he it's all a reflection of-Cause we're going on an adventure right there.

SPEAKER_01 5:43

Billboard Waggons, right?

SPEAKER_02 5:44

Uh so like finally when uh you know they get to Billboard Baggins and uh you know he gets to that place where he realizes that wow, yeah, this is what we're gonna I'm gonna do. I'm I'm going on no one understood it. No. Um, but and a lot of people try to talk him out of it. This is crazy, those type of things. But uh when he finally realized he's going on an adventure, I I love those movies for the adventure aspect of it.

SPEAKER_01 6:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:11

Um and those things have always been uh something that's very unique to me. Because let me tell you why I like adventures.

SPEAKER_01 6:18

Why do you like adventures?

SPEAKER_02 6:19

Because adventures take us into the unknown.

SPEAKER_01 6:22

See, and sometimes the unknown is scary for some people.

SPEAKER_02 6:26

Yep, that's exactly why I want to do this today. Yeah. Because some people don't want to go into the unknown. No, they like to have it all mapped out the you know the safety, yes, they like the comfort. Yes, uh like when me and the guys go out west hunting and we go up, we climb the mountain, we're on the mountain for you know a week or so, and you know, it's we're roughing it, right? Like it's it's an adventure, you know. We have to find water, we have to do all that stuff.

SPEAKER_01 6:57

And I can have an adventure, I can have an adventure finding stuff at the grocery store to cook at home, or finding a new grocery store.

SPEAKER_02 7:04

Anymore shopping and new grocery stores or a new item on a menu to try.

SPEAKER_01 7:10

That's kind of my adventures.

SPEAKER_02 7:13

So that's that's what can happen to married people, I think, sometimes, right? Like uh, you know, you gotta you have different views of what an adventure should be like, right? And uh that can sometimes uh put you in a place where uh you struggle about what it means to really um live. To me, I need the um I need I need the adventure, I need the unknown, I need the survivor, I need to be able to figure it out.

SPEAKER_01 7:40

So the day-to-day is boring to you?

SPEAKER_02 7:42

It can be. Uh, and that's just you know that. So that's it.

SPEAKER_01 7:48

Well, you didn't seem very bored in Mexico, though.

SPEAKER_02 7:50

No, that was the rest time, that was different. Um, but uh adventures can take us into the unknown territories, and that can be exciting, that can be scary, that can uh vi be violating at the same time. That can be encouraging, right? And the the issue with marriage is sometimes that it does the same thing. Now, when when we do our marriage sermon series every year here at Firm Foundation Ministries, one of the things that I I always like to say is that marriage has a way of showing you just how immature you are. Right.

SPEAKER_01 8:23

Or immature you are, uh or how selfish you are mature, right?

SPEAKER_02 8:28

Uh lack of maturity or selfishness or those types of things, marriage also is not designed for happiness, it's designed for holiness. And uh, you know, so the adventure of marriage often can take us into the unknown. And that can be a wrestling because people some some people they really struggle with the unknown. They want to go into marriage thinking, well, I'm getting married because I want security. I'm getting married because I want safety. I'm getting married because I want comfort. Some we have really sat down with couples sometimes and discovered that the whole reason this couple got married was for escape. They were trying to escape a home life that they maybe wasn't good for them as a child or whatever. They thought, okay, if I get married, I'm gonna, I'm escaping this. You should never get married for escapism.

SPEAKER_01 9:22

No.

SPEAKER_02 9:22

Right? Uh and part of the fun of any adventure is having a companion to go along with. Right. But part of the wrestling of any adventure is um always agreeing on the direction. Yes, the direction of the adventure, right? Uh and and and so there's a journey that takes place in a marriage, right? I'm getting somewhere. I know you are. Okay, I know you are somewhere. You you always are getting somewhere. I think that nothing can be better than discovery, right?

SPEAKER_01 9:58

Like probably depending on the person. Like I said, if they're don't like adventure or change or the spontaneous spontaneous, yeah. Yes, it could be very difficult for them.

SPEAKER_02 10:10

They could really struggle with that. For sure, right? So, um, and and so that can be the frustration. As a matter of fact, if you watch any adventure movie like The Lord of the Rings, a part of the tension in the story is how the people who are on the adventure together relate to one another. Right. Uh and so the same thing in marriage, right? How they deal with the differences as they're traveling, and the the points of view, the expectations, the idea. So marriage is a lot like that sometimes. It's a lot like okay, uh, two people learning how to take this journey together uh and survive.

SPEAKER_01 10:50

Well, a lot of our thing is about surviving, isn't it?

SPEAKER_02 10:53

Yeah, and so because here's what happens to us, all right? Uh it doesn't matter what kind of adventure you're taking. Let's say it's the adventure of a vacation, right? Okay, you gotta get on a plane. Is the plane gonna be on time? Are we gonna make the connecting flight? That's someone's super, super paranoia, right there. Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh.

SPEAKER_01 11:15

Yeah, they don't they don't give you enough time. Yeah, seriously.

SPEAKER_02 11:19

Are we gonna make the connecting flight? Uh uh, you know, we're gonna be just fine. We're gonna be just fine, you know.

SPEAKER_01 11:23

Uh that kind of there was a couple times we wondered.

SPEAKER_02 11:26

Yeah, and we have to hustle through those type of things. See, that's the thing with adventures, though. Uh, no adventure comes without hazards or unexpected moments. No adventure comes without things that threaten to wreck the trip. Marriage is like that, right? Right. So no marriage can happen or come without hazards or unexpected things. Right. Uh no, no marriage can happen without things that threaten its survival. And that can be a lot of people.

SPEAKER_01 12:01

Unfortunately, right?

SPEAKER_02 12:02

Um, and so life is really being married is really an adventure about learning how to deal with the unexpected headaches of life.

SPEAKER_01 12:16

Together.

SPEAKER_02 12:16

Together. There you go. Uh, like, you know, financial problems or raising kids or whatever happens. And I know we're talking to some people right now, and they're like, okay, here we go. Uh uh look at what Carrie says. She says an adventurer usually marries a non-adventurer, and that she's the truth. That's the truth, right? Like an introvert and an extrovert. Here's what we have. We all we all before marriage, Carrie's right here. Before marriage, we often celebrate the fact that opposites attract. And then when we get married, we're frustrated about the fact that we are opposite people. Right. Right? Before marriage, you're like, oh, see, we balance each other out, right? And and then after marriage, we're like, why are you never on my side? Right? Yeah. Why don't you everyone do what I want to do? There you go, right? So where do we turn, Lisa, when marriage, the adventure of marriage, the trip, the journey of marriage takes a bad turn? Where do we go? To the Lord. I asked you first.

SPEAKER_01 13:27

When it takes a bad turn. Man, that's I mean, we go to the Lord naturally. Now you're talking about a bad trip like us having a disappointment about something not going to be.

SPEAKER_02 13:42

You know, every every adventure has its tension points, it has its struggles, it has its hazards. I think we just need to go back.

SPEAKER_01 13:52

I think we need to go back to the basics and talk about what went wrong or or why one expects something different from that adventure than the other one. Or maybe like what was it that we did that was uh different, and it was kind of a challenge, and like I just need your support and your encouragement to know that I'm okay to do this. Like white water rafting, okay, or something.

SPEAKER_02 14:29

You did that with me and the Dominican.

SPEAKER_01 14:30

Right. Yep. Not this time, but years back. But even that, that was like, oh my gosh, I had insecurity about that. I didn't, but you were there. We're in the same boat together, and you're like, I'm not leaving your side. We're doing this together. You're gonna be fine.

SPEAKER_02 14:46

So we've been on a couple of trips together where we've had a tour guide. Right? Remember the trip where like the the whole group and has a tour guide, and the tour guide's got this flag, and and you gotta follow the flag. Yeah, poi, yeah, poi in Thailand, right? So in Thailand we were with the group, and and uh sometimes Poi was so short you couldn't see her. What do you mean sometimes? She's short like me. She's a little Thai woman, and uh she was so short uh that you couldn't see her in the crowd, but she had this tall flag, and so as long as we could see the flag, we knew her direction to go, right? And the and as a tour guide, she led us on this adventure through Thailand, right? Bangkok, Chiang Mai. She was just in Bangkok. Okay, she was and in Chiang Mai we were on our own. But anyway, in Bangkok, she led us on this this tour, right? And uh so what we have is is we're on an adventure, and sometimes we we get in spots where we're like, man, I really wish I had a tour guide in this moment.

SPEAKER_01 15:50

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:51

I really I really wish that, man, this moment is there's this hazard. Which way do I go? What do I do? There's this struggle, what decision do I make, right? Um, and and and uh what started in the beginning, like for Billboard Baggins, this joy of going on a venture, right? When he winds up in a dungeon, like uh this did not go the way I anticipated it. And marriage often does that, doesn't it? Yeah, it's an adventure that sometimes leads us into moments where we're like, this is not what I had planned. This is not why I thought this was gold. That happens to the majority of people, it happens to everybody, let's just be honor.

SPEAKER_01 16:28

And it's not always an awfully bad thing. Sure. You know what I mean? It's just discovering who you guys are in the marriage.

SPEAKER_02 16:36

And so what I found uh I think in these moments is it's important to remember why we started the adventure to begin with.

SPEAKER_01 16:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:44

Go back, like Lisa said, to the basics. Why do we do this to begin with? Right. Why are we here? All of a sudden, it puts everything that you're struggling with at that moment in perspective, right? Like, is it worth the struggle? Why am I wrestling over this thing? Because this wasn't even a part of why we started this adventure to start with, right? Or it helps us put the decisions that we've got to make in this moment into perspective to remember what we wanted the end goal to be anyway, right? Uh, as we started those things. And I found that the best flag for that is the word of God. Yeah. It's true. We get back to the basics. Get back to the basics. Like when trouble disrupts the adventure, right? Um, thy word, right, is a light unto my path. Right. That that's that's an incredible moment, and I think couples would do well in that.

SPEAKER_01 17:39

Well, and and um I think Now do you think that they should do that together, be in the same scripture together, or do you just think that they they they need to because sometimes I mean I know we all need to have our own walk with the Lord.

SPEAKER_02 17:56

Sure, because sometimes the the wrestling is personal, uh, and you've just got to work on you a little bit. Uh and uh, but then at the same time, you know, like you said, uh one of the tools is the communication. Let's remember why we started this in the beginning, right, you know, and what that looks like. Well, you know, because like when when we have the word of God, it's like that flagpole that Miss Poy had, right? It was no matter what was happening in front of us, we could see the direction we needed to go. Right. And as long as we went that direction, we wound up where we were supposed to go. It didn't mean we didn't have to push through the crowd. Right. Oh, that's good.

SPEAKER_01 18:35

That was good.

SPEAKER_02 18:37

It didn't mean that we didn't have to that there was some kind of work to get there. To get there, uh, because that was very important.

SPEAKER_01 18:44

I think so many times people just want whatever.

SPEAKER_02 18:48

Yeah, and I remember several times going, where's the flag? Where's the flag? Where's the flag? Because like you you couldn't see the flag. Because I'm short also I couldn't see the flag and I don't know which way to go. And then as soon as you saw where the flag was, oh, now peace came over you, and you're like, Yep, now I know which direction I'm supposed to go. It may take me a minute to get there. I might not get there as fast as others. Oh, here's a good point. You see, sometimes we look at other couples and we think they're not having to push through the crowd, they don't have any hazards in their journey of marriage, right?

SPEAKER_01 19:20

Yeah, but so many times that that we don't know what's happening within their own.

SPEAKER_02 19:25

I agree with you. You said so many times, I would think that most of the time, we have no idea what the hazards are for other people in their journey. It's not going to be the same as ours. We have no idea the unexpected uh potholes in the road of their journey that they've come across. Uh, we have no idea about the moments that threaten to wreck their trip. Right. Uh, and I think that that's important. And so when trouble disrupts the adventure of marriage, right, we see clearly our path by following the flag, which is first the word of God. And then I think the word of God provides the necessary tools to help us navigate then uh where it's at. If either the word of God's working on me or the word of God is giving me direction to help me work on us uh and and to rejoin us. So uh also what are what are some adventures that married in your perspective that married couples can do together? I like to hunt. Obviously, you're not gone on a hunting trip.

SPEAKER_01 20:29

Yeah, I but I know women that hunt with their husbands.

SPEAKER_02 20:32

Yeah. Okay, but you're not gonna do that. But let's so let's talk about what are some adventures uh that we can go on together.

SPEAKER_01 20:40

We just went on one. We went to Mexico. Went beaching and pooling and beaching and pooling and eating out and stuff, yeah. That's hilarious. Um like well, I I can't do a lot of physical activity because of my arthritis. So, you know, I can't go on long hikes, but I do like to go on easier walks and stuff like that. So just things like leisurely walks around the neighborhood together or something, you know? Um I watch you play sports. I can't play a lot of things, but that's okay. Uh games, that's not an adventure, though, I guess.

SPEAKER_02 21:23

But yeah, we do that. So there there are things, right? Like uh fishing as married people. Yep. Uh married people, you can you gotta find ways to keep yourself united in the journey together, or else the hazards are gonna do what hazards are designed to do, which is to separate you. Yes, to discourage you, right? Yeah, and everything is those moments.

SPEAKER_01 21:43

Yeah, you've got to find a common activity that you guys can do together.

SPEAKER_02 21:47

I think what we've learned uh from life's adventure disruptions, okay, is how how we can use those moments to draw closer to each other. Instead of distancing us. Yeah. And in that the tension in those adventure movies, once the characters realize, okay, that we're stronger together and then we are separate and they unite, usually they overcome the distraction, the hazard, or the obstacle, right? Mm-hmm. And everything plot twist is the same, right?

SPEAKER_01 22:22

Now none of you will watch Lord of the Rings or the the Hobbit the same ever again. Right. You're gonna be thinking about your marriage.

SPEAKER_02 22:31

It's a story, right? Well, Tolkien was a Christian, and I mean the whole thing is spiritual symbolism anyway, but that's for a different podcast. Um, and so um I think that that's probably the thing that we want to understand is that oftentimes the hazards, the unknown territories, the things that strain the joy of originally saying we're going on this venture together rob us of the peace and the joy of the journey, and uh it causes us to not feel close to one another on the trip that we're on, instead of uh actually being close to one another uh and staying close to one another. And I think that that's the the point, right? Right. Yep.

SPEAKER_01 23:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:15

What did you think about that?

SPEAKER_01 23:16

Oh, that was good. Yeah, yeah, didn't know you were gonna talk about the Hobbit or Lord of the Rings.

SPEAKER_02 23:20

Well, I didn't know I was gonna talk about the Hobbit or the Lord of the Rings either. You know, it's a it's the adventure of moving together. But see, that's the that's the point. All of you who are married and listening to Wedded Wednesday, you are on an adventure. And I would encourage you right now, think back to the day uh of your you know when you you decided, hey, we're gonna run this venture together, how excited you were, how uh full of joy you were. Hey, this is the wedding season, all right? Yeah and and well, I don't know what time people will listen, what season people will listen to these podcasts, but uh right now, uh, you know, this is like May and June, and this is starting the beginning of wedding season, but it's also a season where people propose, right? And so we've had a we've had a number of young people in our church. Um, not only are they a number of them getting married during this season, but there's a number of them that are also proposing and accepting, like, yes, God has joined us together, and now you're going on this adventure, and all this stuff happens. And and it's so the great thing about wedding season, and the great thing about proposal season, is that is that a season? Proposal season? Well, you just made it one. I guess I just made it one, is the joy that comes along with it with everybody. Well, everybody celebrates, everybody celebrates you, and uh they're uh yeah, you're going on this adventure, and then boom, the adventure starts, and you're like, wait a minute. I didn't I didn't know this was part of it. I didn't know this was part of it.

SPEAKER_01 24:48

But that's when you have to go back and remember why.

SPEAKER_02 24:52

Yeah, remember the flag, okay? And that's the thing. The word of God, number one, is that thing that helps you push together, it keeps you focused on why you started, and it becomes a light to your path. And I I think that those things, it'll give you the tools that you need to uh to continue the journey and make it to where you originally thought you wanted to go as a married couple to start with, right? So there we are. See, that didn't hurt a bit. That didn't hurt a bit. Depending on who you are. No, I hope it was really encouraging. No, that was very encouraging. Here's what we can do as a married couple this week. You can reminisce a little bit about, hey, you know, when we first got married, what did you think, you know, the adventure would look like?

SPEAKER_01 25:35

Did you ever expect us here? And maybe I think you and I have had that conversation a few times.

SPEAKER_02 25:40

Yeah, I think so, for sure.

SPEAKER_01 25:42

Like, did we ever expect to be here? Like, even physically here. For sure.

SPEAKER_02 25:47

No. And I think it what it might do is remind you of some thing, some dream you had as a couple that maybe because of the hazards or the struggle of the adventure you'd forgotten about. And maybe in that conversation, something gets re-resurrected, revived, uh, and press into that and see what God will do. Right? Yeah. Great. Let's go for them. Okay. All right, Lord, we want our lives to be an adventure with you and with each other. And so we're just asking God that you take us to the places where you want us to be as a married couple. And Lord, you remind us to come to you for help when the difficulties arise in the journey.

SPEAKER_01 26:29

Father God, I just thank you for what you're doing in each heart, Father God, that you just um join them even closer than they've ever been. And for those that are struggling, Father God, that you will be their tour guide, that you will hold that flag and that they will be able to see it, Father God, and that they will have the courage and the boldness to follow. And I just thank you for what you're doing in Jesus' name.

SPEAKER_02 26:52

Amen. Amen. Hey, we love you guys. Thanks for joining us each and every week. Do us a favor before the Facebook deletes the live, share it on your social media as well. And I know that uh someone's gonna be blessed by uh this conversation for sure. We appreciate you guys. Thank you so much. Uh, we're gonna keep you up to date when we officially get the we're recording all these, so when we officially get this podcast, so you might get to listen to them again in audio form uh as sooner or later. But uh the team's working on some graphics. We gotta there's some things that you gotta do in the background to really get a podcast up and going. So uh we're gonna get that done soon, but until then, there you go, right? Yep, enjoy your adventure together. We cannot wait to see you again right back here next Wednesday. Until then, here's our little poke for you. See you later. Bye.